143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 3, 2016 5:33:52 GMT
Leave? She wanted you to just disconnect from your only way of communicating with people outside of your session whenever anyone started going after you? "So it's on me to keep things from escalating instead of on the other person from starting things in the first place?" you say bitterly. "...Fine. Whatever. Next time someone tries to hurt me I'll just leave so that they can go on having fun talking to all the people I like." You flop back into the corner of the couch, still curled up, with your body angled away from Jenny. "Is that all this whole stupid scphiel was leading up to? You just want me to leave if people are bothering me?" As if you weren't already withdrawn and closed off enough.
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 3, 2016 6:04:25 GMT
"So, you don't want to just sit there and take it, you don't want to leave. So you get aggressive. And then, instead of talking to the people you actually want to talk to, you get into an argument with somebody you don't want to talk to. You could just open a private message or a separate or sub-chat with limitations to just the people you like. I'm not saying it's an ideal solutions but... assholes can be prolific around here. It might be easier for you right now while you're trying to work stuff out. And please, please don't take anything I say as any kind of attempt to make things worse for you - I'm not entirely sure what the best thing for you is - I'm just trying to advise you on some options based on the world as I understand it."
"All that said, I realize now, probably a little later than is ideal, that I've gone about this completely wrong. I brought my own views to the table, and in doing so was acting no different than the others and it's obvious that their methods are pretty crappy. I started on about where they're coming from and, like them, didn't spend time to learn about where you're coming from. So, that said. if you're willing and only if you want to, I want to know your story. All of it: who you were before the game, your first session, and the things which weight heaviest on your heart and soul. I want to help but I'm not going to make the mistake that the people I was talking about before did - I want to get to know you before I even consider trying to make any more attempts at judging what's a good idea for you."
You should have lead with that as the core - you'd just wasted his time and made an ass of yourself. Hopefully you hadn't already caused too much grief. "And, again, only if you want, I'd be willing to share my own stories so you can actually get to know me."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 3, 2016 6:58:49 GMT
You listen with a frown, not looking at Jenny as she talks. You know you can just leave the main chat and private message people if you don't like someone who's talking, but you just... you don't really feel close enough to anyone on this site to just strike up a private conversation with them. Talking with them all in a public chat is fun and casual, but a private conversation implies some form of personal bonds, and you don't really feel like you have that with anyone. Except maybe HT, after that time he'd messaged you privately to check up on you, but... Another part of it was that you were kind of shy, okay? Once you had a good point to start from, like entering a public chat or fulfilling your duties as a coplayer, interaction was easy enough, but starting up more personal, purposeful connections was... hard.
You're a little relieved as Jenny's speech starts to go into admitting her own mistakes in dealing with all this, hoping that she's going to say that she'll go chew out SB and SC instead, but no. She asks for... your entire life story?? "...What the hell, FC?" you ask, looking back over at her. What the hell makes her think that she was close enough to you for you to just pour your heart out to her and tell her the most personal things about yourself? "You babble on about all this shit and then suddenly say you want to know everything that 'weighs the heaviest on my heart and soul'?? Just--what the hell? What do you even want from me, what's the point of all this??"
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 3, 2016 8:01:08 GMT
You shrink. You didn't want things to turn the way they suddenly did. Your answer blurts out "I-I-I-I... I don't have any f-friends I don't know everything about. I-I... I just want to be your friend. I pretty much only ever talk to SB and SC outside of when I visit the group chat or deal with session business. I didn't have a consistent connection to anyone but them for years. I... don't know how to make friend, obviously I'm terrible at it - and now I've got both of them upset with me because I yelled at SC a-a-and Morana said-" You're crumbling, shaking - The Shade speaks up. You hit yourself with [Ice Cream in the Veins]. Every sign that you're upset disappearing, everything going numb. The only proof that you had just broken down being marks left behind your tears. Your voice becomes mechanical, automatic. "She said I'd die alone. I agreed with her. I killed her."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 3, 2016 9:14:04 GMT
All of your irritation dissolves when Jenny starts to cry. You'd thought she'd come here to try to make some sort of point, to try to coerce you into agreeing with some opinion or tell you what she thought you should choose to do, but... all this was just some bizarre way of her trying to become friends with you? You unfold yourself, leaning closer to her, expression concerned. "FC..." you start, wanting to pull her into a hug or something, but before you do, she's iced herself, the upset just Rhyme'd away. You lean back a bit again, unsettled with the sudden disappearance of the sympathetic emotions under a layer of psybuff. You didn't have much of a problem with psybuffs that exacerbated emotions that were already naturally in existence, but stifling them into unnatural apathy...
"FC, you don't have to know everything about me to be my friend," you say, looking at her imploringly. "Gaining intimate knowledge about someone is something that happens as a result of growing close to someone, not a prerequisite for doing so... Just--making a friend isn't about solving a puzzle, you just talk to them and get to know what they like and share things with them and offer support if they need it..."
You didn't know what to say about the dying alone part. You'd both know you were lying if you told her there was no way that would happen, and saying "that might not happen" wasn't exactly very comforting.
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 4, 2016 5:54:26 GMT
"I..." You pause. Some combination of needing to think and being under the effect of The Shade. "I'm sorry." You turned off the ability bit by bit. "I... I shouldn't have brought you into this the way I did. I... just... I let a lot of stuff get to me. I'm usually fine to push it out of mind but this Rhyme thing has forced me to be introspective. Plus I've been thinking of how everyone who's gotten anywhere and lived for long enough has at least some kind of purpose, and how I don't have one." Your tears come freely again.
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 4, 2016 10:25:19 GMT
"Shh, it's okay," you say, reaching out to hug Jenny once she starts crying again. She'd wanted this talk to be about your problems, but it was pretty clear that she was the one who needed help. "Come on, that's not true. You have as much of a purpose as any of the rest of us. You play the game and help people in your sessions and on the forums, and you contribute to making new universes (whether or not it can help us replayers but whatever), and uh, without you, I'd probably be dead or Ring candy right now. You've made it through enough sessions to really be considered a veteran, that's gotta count for something."
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 5, 2016 3:19:55 GMT
"Yeah but none of those things drive me. I saved you sure, but I only did that because SB pestered me into going! Saving lives is his thing, but that doesn't mean it's ever been mine. For gods' sake I'm supposed to be good at helping people with emotional turmoil and look at what a mess I've made of that. I can't even help myself."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 5, 2016 4:11:54 GMT
Oh jeez. This isn't just getting upset over not being super good at making friends you're dealing with, it's a serious loss of any idea of purpose. You have no idea what would be the best way to deal with this; Law wasn't very in tune with emotions, just results. "Um... C-come on, Jenny, you don't have to have some big grand purpose," you say, hugging her tighter. "Any little thing is big enough to live for, whether it's wanting to finish a book series or knowing your friends would be sad if you were gone, or anything."
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 8, 2016 4:15:15 GMT
You do your best to hug back. You wanted to agree with him, but something was holding you back. What he was saying simply didn't match up with what you knew. Something was missing. "What's yours, then? Why are you still here and not off with Fred? Clearly the whole magic thing didn't go over too well."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 8, 2016 4:22:16 GMT
"I... I said already, you were the one who convinced me in the first place," you say. "I want to keep playing for a while, help as many sessions of people as I can, cross my fingers that I might run into my native coplayers again..." You hate the game, but you haven't completely lost the will to keep playing yet. You can keep going a bit longer. "...Besides, I wouldn't want to be stuck as a Bane of Doom for all eternity, would I?" you laugh.
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 8, 2016 4:34:26 GMT
"Hah, yeah, that's fair. S-sorry about all this. I kinda fell apart. SC and I have been fighting lately. Like, sometimes it seems like she's my friend again but then she get's all... harsh. I'm usually able to figure out what she's doing but it feels... really out of place for her. Even when she went all aggro on you - she isn't usually that way. She's usually way nicer and accepting. I just... I don't know what's going on." You take a deep breath, coming to a conclusion. "I'm glad all this is out in the open, thanks for helping me out, Mica. Sorry how I kinda went all crazy there at the start, I don't think I realized how much the situation with SC was effecting me."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 8, 2016 4:41:57 GMT
You frown at the discussion of SC. It was no secret that you disliked her, what with her mysterious plan to do something to Fred and all, but you respected the fact that FC was friends with her... "It's okay. I couldn't really tell if it was abnormal since I don't know her well, but it does seem like there's something up with SC," you say, giving Jenny a pat on the back before pulling away. "I think you should talk to her about this, maybe try to talk her out of whatever this crazy plan is that she's become obsessed with. HT's never hurt anybody to warrant her doing something to him, I think she's gotten completely tied up in the idea of finding out if she can do it instead of thinking about whether or not she should..."
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99 posts
Seer of Heart
Played by Harrison
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Post by faultycoordinator on Jun 8, 2016 4:49:51 GMT
"Yeah. That said, the thing with Witches is that sometimes you just have to trust them, even if what they say is covered in layers of mysticism and rainy stuff. She's done some really astounding things before - and if she is still the person I know her to be, well, I can't imagine what she's planning to do to Fred will be all that bad. She's a good person, Mica. Even if she wants to make it seem like she isn't." You're not sure how much you still believe what you say, but you do know that SC is still at least partially the person you know she is. "I think her intentions are probably good, even if they're gonna be paving the road to hell. Maybe I will confront her about it."
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143 posts
Seer of Law
Played by Lucy
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Post by wizardlyluminary on Jun 8, 2016 5:05:37 GMT
You snort. "Forgive me if I have a hard time believing all that, I don't exactly have a very good impression of her..." you say. "Considering LC has the power to actually literally send her to hell if she screws up with this, I really think you should talk to her. She's either going to fuck with someone I care about, or get her or the people she uses for her plan killed." You're pretty terrified of her succeeding, whatever it is she wants to do. Depending on when it happens, she could either be disabling your escape route, or... or you'd personally get caught up in all the shit, and have who knows what happen to you. "Was there anything else you wanted?" you ask, since the issue that had driven FC to come nag you about a completely different issue seems to be resolved for now.
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